This is what we all want Darren, it’s what we all want. 

I have profiles on three different online dating websites.  There’s a perfectly good reason for this, and it’s not because I’m socially awkward or have a weird smell.  After a failed engagement and my thirtieth birthday just around the corner, the fear of owning fifteen cats that will eventually eat my corpse after I die alone started to creep in.  Or I’ll end up on Hoarders.  LOVE that show.

I figured that creating a profile on more than one dating site would increase my chances of finding someone I could get along with.  Turns out, everyone has that same idea, and I ended up having to block the same people.  It has definitely been a learning experience.  I’ve made a couple of friends, met a couple douchebags and gained plenty of  hilarious material to blog about.  All of my profiles are basically the same.  Here is one of them: